“I was on my way back from work on the subway, when I suddenly found it really hard to breathe. I was sweating, clutching at my tie desperately. I could feel my heart racing, and my knees felt very weak. I was terrified -I honestly thought I was going to die!” Have you ever experienced anything similar? 

What is a panic attack?

A panic attack is much more than experiencing anxiety. Although it involves anxiety symptoms, such as palpitations, shortness of breath, dizziness, feeling weak, chest pains, trembling; it also includes the feeling that something terrifying is happening to you, such as losing control, going crazy, or even having a heart attack. This is why when someone suffers from a panic attack they desperately try to escape from the situation, and might even go to ER to check that they’re not dying. 

What can happen after a panic attack

After having experienced a panic attack, some people can then develop frequent panic attacks and/or worry constantly about having another one. This is what is known as Panic Disorder, where you’d constantly be worrying about having another panic attack and its consequences (losing control, fainting, etc). In other cases, people fear being in a place where it would be hard to get out of if they did have a panic attack, and therefore begin to avoid certain places (supermarkets, public transport, the cinema, etc), leading them to isolate and even struggle to leave their house.  

This is a question many parents frequently ask me. When children are small, things are easier - they tell us everything that has happened to them during the day, they ask us for help, and ask to spend time with us. Teenagers, however, are at a stage when they want their own space. Their opinions differ from ours, and the activities that we suggest doing may seem boring to them.

For this reason, it is important to show interest in their hobbies in order to share time together; this could be following a TV series or watching sports matches together. Another important element is asking them for help because teenagers feel that we are constantly telling them what to do. Therefore, if we ask them for advice, or they explain to us about topics they know more about, they will feel that we are validating their opinions and treating them like the young adults which they are. In the same way, when they tell us about their problems and dilemmas, we should not start by saying "You have to ...", but listen to them, ask them what they have thought about doing, and then suggest alternative courses of action, always validating theirs, of course.

Hello! Thank you for taking the time to answer these questions.  

We have all had times when our children come home from school, upset because of a disagreement they have had with a friend. Our immediate reaction, once they have told us about the awful things that this friend has said or done, is to want to call that friend’s parents to make sure he/she is told off and doesn’t do it again. But is this really the best thing to do? In many cases, what actually happens is that the other child’s parents feel offended, as if their child was being accused of some kind of bullying, so it ends up being a dispute between the parents rather than the children.