{"id":6088,"date":"2022-12-05T15:07:40","date_gmt":"2022-12-05T15:07:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.sinews.es\/?p=6088"},"modified":"2024-12-13T06:26:39","modified_gmt":"2024-12-13T06:26:39","slug":"self-criticism-and-being-demanding-with-ones-self","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sinews.es\/en\/autoexigencia-y-autocritica\/","title":{"rendered":"Self-criticism and being demanding with one's self"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wpb-content-wrapper\"><div data-parent=\"true\" class=\"vc_row row-container\" id=\"row-unique-1\"><div class=\"row limit-width row-parent\"><div class=\"wpb_row row-inner\"><div class=\"wpb_column pos-top pos-center align_left column_parent col-lg-12 single-internal-gutter\"><div class=\"uncol style-light\"  ><div class=\"uncoltable\"><div class=\"uncell no-block-padding\" ><div class=\"uncont\" ><div class=\"uncode_text_column text-justify\" ><p>It has been scientifically proven that self-criticism, perfectionism and self-demandingness (or imposing extremely high standards to ourselves) play an important role in the occurrence and maintenance of mental disorders such as anxiety, mood, and eating disorders.<\/p>\n<p>The psychological treatment of these factors produces a decrease in the number of symptoms in different areas and also reduces some symptoms that have not yet appeared. Many studies exist which have proven the significant reduction of anxiety and depression with the treatment of self-demandingness and perfectionism as the only treatment.<\/p>\n<\/div><div class=\"vc_custom_heading_wrap\"><div class=\"heading-text el-text\" ><h2 class=\"h3\" ><span>Being demanding with one\u00b4s self<\/span><\/h2><\/div><div class=\"clear\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"uncode-single-media  text-left\"><div class=\"single-wrapper\" style=\"max-width: 100%;\"><div class=\"tmb tmb-light  tmb-media-first tmb-media-last tmb-content-overlay tmb-no-bg\"><div class=\"t-inside\"><div class=\"t-entry-visual\"><div class=\"t-entry-visual-tc\"><div class=\"uncode-single-media-wrapper\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-6091\" src=\"https:\/\/www.sinews.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/autoexigencia.jpg\" width=\"1280\" height=\"823\" alt=\"Self-criticism and being demanding with one&#039;s self\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.sinews.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/autoexigencia.jpg 1280w, https:\/\/www.sinews.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/autoexigencia-300x193.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.sinews.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/autoexigencia-1024x658.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.sinews.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/autoexigencia-768x494.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.sinews.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/autoexigencia-18x12.jpg 18w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1280px) 100vw, 1280px\" \/><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"uncode_text_column text-justify\" ><p>The majority of patients have learnt this mechanism from their parents or during their upbringing. There are healthier ways to accomplish our goals, but the self-demandingness begins as a response to the environment that \u201chelps\u201d people achieve their goals. It appears that in fact, it gives people a leg to succeed, grow and evolve. But distress or intense negative emotions is the best indicator to know that it is time to change these patterns.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><script id=\"script-row-unique-1\" data-row=\"script-row-unique-1\" type=\"text\/javascript\" class=\"vc_controls\">UNCODE.initRow(document.getElementById(\"row-unique-1\"));<\/script><\/div><\/div><\/div><div data-parent=\"true\" class=\"vc_row row-container\" id=\"row-unique-3\"><div class=\"row limit-width row-parent\"><div class=\"wpb_row row-inner\"><div class=\"wpb_column pos-top pos-center align_left column_parent col-lg-12 single-internal-gutter\"><div class=\"uncol style-light\"  ><div class=\"uncoltable\"><div class=\"uncell no-block-padding\" ><div class=\"uncont\" ><div class=\"vc_custom_heading_wrap\"><div class=\"heading-text el-text\" ><h2 class=\"h3\" ><span>When self-criticism and self-demandingness cause distress<\/span><\/h2><\/div><div class=\"clear\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"uncode_text_column text-justify\" ><p>Our pattern of thoughts and coping mechanisms are based on our experiences and what worked well in the past. But when the self-criticism and self-demandingness cause distress or intense negative emotions it\u00b4s time for change.<\/p>\n<p>Imposing extremely high standards to ourselves means to constantly notice our failures and the need to be perfect, strong, good enough, efficient enough and a wide range of endless non-flexible and self-imposed requirements. It becomes a judging and blaming inner voice that finds errors even when the mistakes are minimal or non-existent. The self-demandingness usually comes together with the self-criticism.<\/p>\n<p>When the desired result is not within our reach but we still impose its achievement to ourselves, that is when we start to feel intense negative emotions such as guilt, anger or sadness. We are then not considering other circumstances or variables that may be influencing on the achievement of that outcome. We can also feel distress when we think we made unpardonable mistakes and there is going to be catastrophic consequences.<\/p>\n<p>For example: It is actually impossible to be 100% focused on your studies and get perfectly good grades during a pandemic, or to be super productive at work when you are looking after your two kids at the same time. In these examples, the self-demandingness is not taking into consideration all the circumstances that have changed and it\u00b4s talking from a black and white perspective. How can we run a marathon with a broken leg? How can we be 100% productive at work when we are not feeling well? How can we focus while studying if, social contact is the most important thing for us and we cannot have it?<\/p>\n<p>Self-criticism is the root of a low self-esteem. Self-criticism is our inner voice making subjective judgements and interpretations of ourselves, without taking into consideration objective and reliable data.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><script id=\"script-row-unique-3\" data-row=\"script-row-unique-3\" type=\"text\/javascript\" class=\"vc_controls\">UNCODE.initRow(document.getElementById(\"row-unique-3\"));<\/script><\/div><\/div><\/div><div data-parent=\"true\" class=\"vc_row has-bg need-focus style-sinews-turquesa-claro2-bg row-container\" id=\"row-unique-5\"><div class=\"row limit-width row-parent\"><div class=\"wpb_row row-inner\"><div class=\"wpb_column pos-top pos-center align_left column_parent col-lg-12 single-internal-gutter\"><div class=\"uncol style-light\"  ><div class=\"uncoltable\"><div class=\"uncell no-block-padding\" ><div class=\"uncont\" ><div class=\"vc_custom_heading_wrap\"><div class=\"heading-text el-text\" ><h2 class=\"h3\" ><span>Tips for reducing self-demandingness and self-criticism<\/span><\/h2><\/div><div class=\"clear\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"uncode_text_column text-justify\" ><p>These are some steps you can follow:<\/p>\n<\/div><div class=\"uncode-wrapper uncode-list\" >\n<ul>\n<li>The first step is to detect our critical voice, paying attention to the specific situations where it occurs; for example, when we make a mistake, in social interactions, \u2026<\/li>\n<li>Second of all it is important to see if there are unhelpful thinking styles within our thoughts (\u201cshoulds\u201d, labels, name-calling, etc.) and try to eliminate them from our internal language. For example: \u201cI shouldn\u2019t have told my colleagues about my problems, I am sure they all must hate me right now, I am very immature\u201d. In this case, we are using the \u201cshoulds and musts\u201d (\u201cI shouldn\u2019t have said that\u201d and \u201cthey must hate me\u201d), also \u201cmind reading\u201d (I believe people will not like what I said, even when I don\u2019t have evidences for that thought), \u201clabelling\u201d and \u201cname-calling\u201d (thinking I am immature) and the black and white thinking (now they ALL HATE me). When we eliminate this unhelpful thinking styles from our internal language, the result would be something like: \u201cI would rather not tell my problems to other people, but I cannot tell if they have negative thoughts of what I did, I have no evidences. I am assuming that the vast majority of a group is going to hate me, but it is more possible that only some of them are not going to like my comment. According to my own standards about the world and social interactions, people my age don\u00b4t usually communicate their problems to their colleagues, but being immature cannot only be based on a specific behaviour or situation.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div><div class=\"uncode-single-media  text-center\"><div class=\"single-wrapper\" style=\"max-width: 100%;\"><div class=\"tmb tmb-light  tmb-media-first tmb-media-last tmb-content-overlay tmb-no-bg\"><div class=\"t-inside\"><div class=\"t-entry-visual\"><div class=\"t-entry-visual-tc\"><div class=\"uncode-single-media-wrapper\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-6094\" src=\"https:\/\/www.sinews.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/autoexigencia-1.jpg\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1080\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.sinews.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/autoexigencia-1.jpg 1920w, https:\/\/www.sinews.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/autoexigencia-1-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.sinews.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/autoexigencia-1-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.sinews.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/autoexigencia-1-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.sinews.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/autoexigencia-1-1536x864.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/www.sinews.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/autoexigencia-1-18x10.jpg 18w, https:\/\/www.sinews.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/autoexigencia-1-1200x675.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1920px) 100vw, 1920px\" \/><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"uncode-wrapper uncode-list\" >\n<ul>\n<li>It is not about giving ourselves a positive message but to give ourselves a message adjusted to the facts and reducing the risk of biasing our vision.<\/li>\n<li>Last but not least, understanding the self-criticism purpose can help us overcome it. Once we are aware of its role, addressing it becomes an easier task. We may ask ourselves: \u201cwhat does this self-criticism statement invite me to\u201d and then understand where does it come from, or what is its purpose.<\/li>\n<li>We can also change the self-criticism for a more compassionate and realistic point of view, challenging the behaviours the criticism invites us to do.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><script id=\"script-row-unique-5\" data-row=\"script-row-unique-5\" type=\"text\/javascript\" class=\"vc_controls\">UNCODE.initRow(document.getElementById(\"row-unique-5\"));<\/script><\/div><\/div><\/div><div data-parent=\"true\" class=\"vc_row row-container\" id=\"row-unique-7\"><div class=\"row limit-width row-parent\"><div class=\"wpb_row row-inner\"><div class=\"wpb_column pos-top pos-center align_left column_parent col-lg-12 single-internal-gutter\"><div class=\"uncol style-light\"  ><div class=\"uncoltable\"><div class=\"uncell no-block-padding\" ><div class=\"uncont\" ><div class=\"uncode_text_column text-justify\" ><p>In conclusion, when we start to change the self-criticism, we feel anxious or guilty at first. We need then to remember that the self-criticism has been helping us to survive for a very long time. However, when we persist on challenging it, it ends up being less intense and we can then achieve an even more fulfilling life.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><script id=\"script-row-unique-7\" data-row=\"script-row-unique-7\" type=\"text\/javascript\" class=\"vc_controls\">UNCODE.initRow(document.getElementById(\"row-unique-7\"));<\/script><\/div><\/div><\/div><div data-parent=\"true\" class=\"vc_row row-container\" id=\"row-unique-9\"><div class=\"row triple-top-padding triple-bottom-padding one-h-padding limit-width row-parent\"><div class=\"wpb_row row-inner\"><div class=\"wpb_column pos-top pos-center align_left column_parent col-lg-4 inverted-device-order col-md-50 single-internal-gutter\"><div class=\"uncol style-light\"  ><div class=\"uncoltable\"><div class=\"uncell one-block-padding\" ><div class=\"uncont\" ><div class=\"uncode-single-media  text-right\"><div class=\"single-wrapper\" style=\"max-width: 100%;\"><div class=\"uncode-single-media-wrapper single-advanced\"><div class=\"tmb tmb-light tmb-overlay-text-anim tmb-overlay-anim tmb-overlay-text-left tmb-image-anim  img-round img-round-std tmb-shadowed tmb-shadowed-std tmb-img-ratio tmb-media-first tmb-media-last tmb-content-overlay tmb-no-bg\" ><div class=\"t-inside\" ><div class=\"t-entry-visual\"><div class=\"t-entry-visual-tc\"><div class=\"t-entry-visual-cont\"><div class=\"dummy\" style=\"padding-top: 100%;\"><\/div><a  class=\"inactive-link pushed\"><div class=\"t-entry-visual-overlay\"><div class=\"t-entry-visual-overlay-in color-wvjs style-color-wvjs-bg\" style=\"opacity: 0.15;\"><\/div><\/div><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-843\" src=\"https:\/\/www.sinews.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/bann-sinews.jpg\" width=\"600\" height=\"600\" alt=\"Sinews, Hacemos F\u00e1cil lo Dif\u00edcil\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.sinews.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/bann-sinews.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.sinews.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/bann-sinews-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.sinews.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/bann-sinews-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.sinews.es\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/bann-sinews-12x12.jpg 12w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/a><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"wpb_column pos-middle pos-left align_left column_parent col-lg-8 col-md-50 half-internal-gutter\"><div class=\"uncol style-light\"  ><div class=\"uncoltable\"><div class=\"uncell no-block-padding\" ><div class=\"uncont\" ><div class=\"vc_custom_heading_wrap\"><div class=\"heading-text el-text\" ><h6 class=\"h6 font-weight-500 text-sinews-turquesa-color text-uppercase\" ><span>Sinews MTI<\/span><\/h6><\/div><div class=\"clear\"><\/div><\/div>\n\t<div class=\"wpb_raw_code wpb_raw_html\" >\n\t\t<div class=\"wpb_wrapper\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"equipo-hd\">Multilingual Therapy Institute<\/span><br><b>Psychology, Psychiatry and Speech Therapy<\/b>\n\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t<\/div>\n<span class=\"btn-container\" ><a role=\"button\"  href=\"https:\/\/www.sinews.es\/en\/contact\/\" class=\"custom-link btn border-width-0 btn-sinews-lima btn-no-scale btn-icon-left\" title=\"Pide cita en Sinews MTI\">Clinic Appointment<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><script id=\"script-row-unique-9\" data-row=\"script-row-unique-9\" type=\"text\/javascript\" class=\"vc_controls\">UNCODE.initRow(document.getElementById(\"row-unique-9\"));<\/script><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Marta Gray N\u00fa\u00f1ez<\/p>","protected":false},"author":31,"featured_media":6100,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"iawp_total_views":317,"footnotes":""},"categories":[36],"tags":[478,491,492],"class_list":["post-6088","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adultos","tag-autoestima","tag-autoexigencia","tag-autocritica"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.8 - 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