EMDR Therapy in Madrid: What it is and How it can help you

Have you ever felt like a painful memory continues to haunt you as if it just happened yesterday? An accident, an unexpected loss, abuse, a difficult breakup, or even a childhood marked by constant demands and criticism can shape the way we think, feel, and relate to others today.

Even though you try to «move on,» you notice that in certain situations, your body and mind react as if you were reliving it over and over again, making you feel trapped in the past.

There are life experiences that leave such a profound mark that they seem to be etched in the body and mind. EMDR therapy is an innovative and scientifically proven psychological approach that helps reprocess these painful experiences so that they no longer have the power to block us. In my clinical practice in Madrid (both in person and online), I have seen patients of very different ages and cultures surprised by the speed and depth in which EMDR transforms their relationship with the past and present.

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It was created in the late 1980s by psychologist Francine Shapiro, who discovered that eye movements could help process traumatic memories in a more adaptive way.

In EMDR, the therapist first analyzes how the patient’s history is impacting their present. Then in the intervention phase, the patient fixes their gaze on their therapist’s fingers as they move side to side (leading the eyes to move repeatedly back and forth) while they think about and discuss the memory or experience that is being worked on. In some interventions alternative methods may be used to stimulate the brain such as tapping, a butterfly hug, or bilateral sounds.

Simply put, EMDR therapy doesn’t erase memories, but rather helps integrate them. The person still remembers what happened, but the memory is no longer burdened with intense and disturbing emotions. The past stays in the past, and the present becomes habitable again.

Today, the World Health Organization (WHO), the American Psychological Association (APA), and the Spanish Ministry of Health recommend EMDR as one of the most effective treatments for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Although EMDR was originally developed for the treatment of PTSD, we now know that it is effective for a wide variety of emotional and psychological difficulties.

EMDR is a highly recommended treatment for people who’ve been through extreme experiences, such as war correspondents in dangerous locations or US military personnel who developed PTSD after their missions. Thanks to EMDR, they are able to reprocess memories that had previously paralyzed them: explosions, scenes of violence, and the constant feeling of danger, among many others. After a few EMDR sessions, one patient was able to sleep through the night again after many restless years, and his nightmares disappeared.

In both cases of child and adult sexual abuse, as well as in abusive relationships, EMDR has proven to be a transformative tool. I also use it with people who grew up under excessive pressure from their parents, which generated emotional trauma linked to impossible expectations.

I have been able to treat several people who had developed a tendency to feel anger or anxiety due to expectations placed on them by their families, leading to emotional disconnection and communication problems. After a few EMDR sessions, they were able to rediscover themselves as much more patient and tolerant people, and this helped them develop new communication skills and improve their marriage or familial relationships.

EMDR is also useful for those suffering from generalized anxiety, social phobia, or specific fears. Patients with social phobia, for example, often discover that their fear of public speaking was linked to memories of being teased at school and the wound it left. By reprocessing these memories, patients with these symptoms can free themselves from the anxiety that prevents them from developing in life, getting to the root of beliefs such as «I’m not good enough,» «I’m weird,» or «I’m hopeless,» among many others.

When grief becomes «stuck,» EMDR facilitates the integration of the loss. It has also been successfully applied to self-esteem issues, blocks related to sexual identity, or even difficulties with weight control, when underlying traumas linked to food, the body, or the critical view of one’s family are at work. In short, it is a very useful tool for addressing negative beliefs about oneself that manifest in an inability to live happily even though, in theory, our needs are perfectly met. With EMDR, we can help change ways of thinking about ourselves, others, or the world that make it difficult for us to be happy.

EMDR therapy could be a good option for you if you identify with one or more of the following situations:

EMDR therapy follows a structured eight-phase protocol that assures the security of both the therapist and the patient. In my experience, this clarity of the process is one of the reasons that EMDR is so effective: it allows you to go step by step to find the root of the problem without the path being chaotic or overwhelming.

Before going in depth about the specific phases, I would like to first address some common questions and misconceptions:

“Am I going to be hypnotized?”
✖ No. In EMDR sessions, you will be completely aware of everything and in control of the process the whole time.

“Am I going to forget what happened to me?”
✖ No. The memory will remain, but the pain and impact of it on your daily life will stop.

“Is it only useful for serious traumas?”
✖ No. In many cases, it is the accumulation of negative experiences from your upbringing that cause different symptoms such as anxiety, discomfort with oneself, etc. It is also very helpful with phobias, breakups, grief, or low self-esteem.

“The process is too intense and I won’t be able to handle it.”
✖No. The process is gradual and before starting the reprocessing, you practice emotional regulation strategies that will help you feel safe and confident in the process.

People are often surprised at the speed with which the emotional intensity of the memory diminishes. Many describe the feeling of seeing the situation “from the outside” or realize the memory belongs in the past and no longer has power in the present.

The number of sessions depends on the complexity of each person’s history. Some people will experience relief in a few sessions, while others require more in depth work. This is best determined through a personal session with a therapist.

Trauma does not have to be a life sentence. With EMDR, it is possible to free yourself from your past and regain trust in yourself. I’ve seen people overcome difficulties that they’ve faced for years, rediscovering their own strength and once again looking to the future with happiness.

If you are in Madrid and you feel that there are past experiences that are continuing to affect your present, EMDR may be the path for you.

Héctor Pastor Pardo is a general health psychologist specializing in addictions and individual and couples therapy. Trained in third-generation therapies and in psychopharmacology and drugs of abuse, he applies a cognitive-behavioral and integrative approach. He has completed the Standard Training of the Spanish Institute of EMDR (Level I and II). His primary practice is the treatment of adults and couples.