Could You Say What Your Values Are? Do You Live According to Them? Values in ACT

The article explains the central role of values in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), distinguishing them from goals. Values act as a compass guiding behavior toward a meaningful life. It suggests exploring them across life domains and understanding them as a flexible, ongoing process that promotes self-awareness and self-compassion.

In a previous article written by one of my colleagues, Emma  she explained what Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is, its theoretical foundations, and the contexts in which it may be a helpful perspective. By way of summary and as a brief refresher, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a psychological approach aimed at developing psychological flexibility: the ability to remain in contact with one’s internal experience as it is, while at the same time acting in a way that is consistent with personal values. To this end, ACT works through a set of interrelated processes, including acceptance of difficult emotions, cognitive defusion, contact with the present moment, a flexible sense of self, and committed action. Within this model, values play a central role, as they provide direction and meaning to behavior, guiding decisions and change toward a fuller and more meaningful life, even in the presence of discomfort. Given the importance of values within this approach, today’s article will focus specifically on understanding what values are and why they are so important.

“Values” is a word we hear quite frequently in our everyday lives, but do we really know what we are referring to? Do we have our values as clear as we think we do? Do we actually live according to them, or do we just believe we do? What are they for? Are they really that important?

These are many questions, and all of them are very good ones. In some cases, people have a very clear idea of what their values are, while in others, describing or defining them can be much more difficult. In addition, most of us are familiar with commonly shared values (such as family or solidarity), but there are many more values with which you may feel more personally identified.

Before continuing, it is important to clarify that values are influenced by multiple factors, such as the country we live in, our culture, beliefs, spirituality, family, or education, among others. Even so, values are personal and can differ greatly from one person to another. There is no single correct hierarchy of values nor one valid way of living them: each person builds their own values based on their personal history and experiences, and this diversity is natural and healthy. Not all of us share the same values, and that is perfectly fine.

Working with values allows us to live a life that feels meaningful and nourishing. From the ACT perspective, values are like a compass: they provide direction. They indicate the direction our actions should take to move us closer to what truly matters to us. At this point, it is important to highlight the difference between values and personal goals. To better understand this distinction, we can use a metaphor that may be helpful: the skier metaphor.

“Imagine you go skiing and take the chairlift up to the top of the mountain. A man appears next to you and asks what your goal is. You reply that it is the chairlift station at the bottom. Suddenly, a helicopter appears, the man pushes you inside, and you are immediately taken down to the bottom station. When you go back up again, the same man and the helicopter appear once more and help you reach your goal. You become very angry, even though they have helped you reach it. Because skiing is not just about reaching the bottom of the chairlift again. Skiing is about how you get there. Knowing where you are going, what goal you want to reach, and so on.”

Therefore, values are not things to be achieved; they provide guidance. Goals, on the other hand, are the concrete things we can do in our daily lives through which we express those values. For example, if an important value for you is “being family-oriented,” one goal or committed action aligned with that value could be organizing a family dinner once a month. In other words, values are not achievable, and they do not need to be. Committed actions, however, are achievable.

To identify your values, it is helpful to explore each area that is important in your life, such as family, partner, children, friendships, professional career, or education. Once you have identified the areas that matter most to you, you can ask yourself meaningful questions for each one:

There may be other areas that are more important to you, or you may think of some that are not listed here. You can include those areas as well.

Once you have answered these questions, it will be easier to put your values into words. Then we can move on to the next step: what actions are you currently taking in your life to move closer to those values? You can write down the things you already do that you believe help you move toward your values and toward the way you want to live your life.

You may have an answer for every area, many answers for some, and none for others. It is important not to judge yourself—this is an exercise in awareness and self-knowledge. The final step is to decide, for each area, whether what you are currently doing feels sufficient or whether you would like to add something more.

It is important to highlight that values are an ongoing process, not a fixed endpoint. Values are not a static list or something that is achieved and completed; rather, they are dynamic and are reviewed and adjusted throughout life. Our values may evolve, expand, or shift in priority depending on the stage of life we are in.

Finally, committing to a values-based life involves action, but also flexibility and kindness toward oneself. At times, we turn values into new demands: “I should be more family-oriented,” “I should be more present,” “I’m not doing this well enough.” Without realizing it, values can become another source of pressure.

From an ACT perspective, commitment does not mean doing everything or doing it perfectly. It means accepting that there will be days of exhaustion, doubt, and contradiction. This is where self-compassion plays a fundamental role. Looking at ourselves with understanding when we fall short, make mistakes, or drift off course allows us to reorient ourselves without self-punishment.

Below, I leave you an explanatory video that may also help you better understand the difference between a values-oriented life and a goal-oriented life:

Watch video here

If you feel that you need support to clarify your values and your life direction, or if you are simply curious to explore and get to know yourself better in this area, a psychology professional can help you. Seeking help is a healthy decision that promotes self-knowledge and emotional well-being.

1. What are values in ACT?
They are personal directions that guide behavior toward a meaningful life, even in the presence of discomfort.

2. How are values different from goals?
Values are ongoing directions, while goals are specific and achievable outcomes.

3. How can I identify my values?
By reflecting on key life areas and considering how you would like to behave in each.

4. Do values change over time?
Yes, they are dynamic and can evolve with life experiences and stages.

5. What if I don’t act according to my values?
It is part of the process; self-compassion helps you return to your chosen direction without judgment.

Laura Redondo Fidalgo is a Clinical Psychologist and Neuropsychologist at Sinews. She works with a wide range of issues, including anxiety, depression, grief, self-esteem, and interpersonal relationship problems, among others. Her approach is cognitive-behavioral, but she also incorporates tools and techniques from other modalities, such as Third Generation Therapies, adapting to the specific needs of each patient, thanks to her continuous training.