¿Es normal que mi hijo bilingüe se atasque al hablar?

¿Es normal que mi hijo bilingüe se atasque al hablar?

Question

Nuestra logopedia Valeria Ávila contesta a una de las preguntas más frecuentes que recibimos: Mi hijo es bilingüe, somos españoles y vivimos en Holanda.  Tiene 3 años y 2 meses y a veces se atasca al hablar. Me gustaría saber si es normal. Gracias.

Answer

Los niños al estar expuesto a dos lenguas a la vez pueden tener un desarrollo más tardío en el lenguaje en comparación con sus iguales monolingües. En los niños bilingües se suele considerar normal que exista un retraso aproximado de 4 a 6 meses en el lenguaje. Si se nota que el niño no logra expresar sus necesidades en ninguno de los dos idiomas, es necesario acudir a un logopeda para obtener una valoración más exhausta.

Muchas veces cuando los niños intentan comunicarse pueden tener unos pequeños “atascos”. Lo más importante como padres es mantener la calma y dar tiempo al niño para que intente terminar de comunicar su mensaje. Si notamos que transcurridos unos segundos el niño no es capaz de elaborar el mensaje podemos recapitular lo que el niño nos dice y ayudarle a terminar su mensaje.

Aun así si lo “atascos” van acompañados de movimiento motores, como suelen ser movimientos oculares o de cabeza, prolongaciones o repeticiones constantes de un sonido de la palabra, lo más aconsejable es acudir a un especialista en este caso un Logopeda colegiado para explorar en profundidad el caso y poder dar pautas especificas a los padres.

En caso de tener más preguntas, no duden en contactar con Sinews.

Atentamente, Valeria Ávila Logopeda/ Speech and language therapist

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Have you ever asked yourself how you learn?

Have you ever asked yourself how you learn?

Even though we spend a substantial portion of our life studying or working, most of us have not been taught how to do so in the most effective way. Learning should not imply just reading a text several times and then repeating it. Learning implies three basic actions: exposure to material, revision and practice.

There are many cognitive processes involved in learning (short and long-term memory, attention span, executive functions, perception, language, etc.).

The best way to learn is getting to know all these processes, their limits and some strategies to make them work in the best and most effective possible way. This is called metacognition.

What can you do to improve your study skills?

Let’s start with our environment:

  • It is fundamental to choose our own space to study, with a comfortable table and chair. A space with no distractions (videogames, TV, etc.). Appropriate ventilation and temperature (between 18º y 22º) are also deemed necessary. Bear in mind the importance of the amount of light; if possible, take advantage of the indirect sunlight. If you are right-handed, the light has to come from the left and if you are left-handed from the right. Avoid fluorescent tubes! They will tire your eyes.
  • It is also important to always study in the same place at the same time.Every time we are in a new place, we tend to explore it, so we get distracted. For this reason, we have to consider studying in the same place. Try to find the best time for you to study throughout the day. Some people can concentrate more during the mornings and others in the afternoon.
  • In order to avoid feeling overwhelmed, take only the material strictly necessary for the subject or project you are working on at the moment. When you are done, put it in its place and take the material for the next subject.
  • Duerme tantas horas como necesites y come de la forma más saludable posible. Tu cerebro necesita descansar y alimentarse adecuadamente. Si no das a tu cuerpo lo que necesita, no serás capaz de recordar información, prestar atención o planificar los pasos necesarios para llevar a cabo una tarea.
  • Sleep as many hours as you need and eat as healthily as possible.Your brain needs to rest and to be fed properly as well. If you don’t give to your body what is necessary, you will not be able to recall information, pay attention or plan the steps you need to follow to accomplish a task.
  • Setting goals is also essential.They need to be clear, concrete, short-term and realistic. Write them down, so you don´t forget about them. They will remind you of the track you should follow when you get lost. Reward yourself for your achievements! Go to the cinema, get your favorite snack, buy chocolates, … as soon as you accomplish each of your goals.
  • Expose yourself to the contents in an active way: do not limit yourself to only reading what you have to study several times. You will probably forget about it the following day. Your brain needs to work and process the information in different ways. Ask yourself what you know about the content you are about to read; write down doubts and look for the answer; search for additional information in different formats (books, videos, notes); create mindmaps, etc. Remember it is not a matter of just memorizing words or formulas just for the exams, it is a matter of internalizing what you really need to know.

Look at the following learning pyramid. Did you know that we retain only the 10% of the material we read? Or that, by teaching others, our brain is able to retain the 90%?

Pirámide de William Glasser

Do you want to know more?

When studying or working, one of the biggest obstacles we usually find in our way is time management. Most of the time, we have too many things to do and too little time. It is very common to procrastinate, not know where to start with or just waste our time.

Adequate planning will help you:

  • Control your daily performance and efficiency, so you will be able to adjust your work to your academic/work demands.
  • Create a study habit, so it will not be so hard starting with our tasks. It will increase our concentration too.
  • Use your time: if you plan what you need to do properly, you will see that you will have time, not only for the obligations, but also to enjoy free time.

Do not forget that a proper planning must be, foremost, operative. This means, that it must be useful to achieve the concrete and realistic goals you set. Sharing your objectives with your friends or relatives will help you with your commitment.

If you feel that time management is one of your handicaps, have a look at the following tips:

  • Make a daily or weekly to-do list.  Instead of thinking about everything you need to do, write it down. This can help prevent you from forgetting something important.
  • Prioritize.Assign a priority to the things you have on your list and try to follow the order from the most important /urgent one to the least.
  • Make your own schedule.There are things that need to be done during a concrete time slot. A schedule will also help you visualize the real time you have during the day to do what you plan. This will include free time, so you will also see the benefits of doing what you are supposed to do at the right time. If you need to study for several subjects, take in consideration that it is better to start with a medium difficulty subject, then a high difficulty subject and finish with an easy one. Take breaks every 45-50 minutes and get some water, talk to someone or listen to music for 10-15 minutes.
  • Do not try to multitask.When we feel overwhelmed by all the things that we need to sort out sometimes we try to do everything we want all at once but this will lead us to not finish anything.
  • Keep a clean and tidy environment around you.Trying to find something is a typical and unnecessary way of wasting your time. You can avoid it just by keeping everything in the right place.
  • Do not procrastinate:the main reasons why we delay the moment to start doing something are because of fear of failure or because we don´t know where to start.How can we try to avoid this situation?
    • Identify the difficult task you are avoiding. Divide it into small parts. Write these small parts and place the list somewhere where you can see it. Cross out the steps you are have completed.
    • If you have five minutes to carry out a task, then choose a task that is going to take you that amount of time and force yourself to work during that time.
    • Try not to be a perfectionist.Give your best when developing a project but realize that not everything is going to be always perfect.
    • Stay focused on your final goal and think about the satisfaction you will feel when you achieve it.

Remember that is also important to evaluate yourself from time to time: ask yourself what you are doing right and what you might be doing wrong and do not be afraid of change if what you are doing is not working.

There is not a unique and infallible method for everyone, so try to find your own. Everyone has different needs and different skills!

If, after reading this article, you still feel that you cannot do it by yourself, ask for help. A learning specialist from Sinews can guide you through the, sometimes, difficult path of learning. Through several training sessions you will learn how to organize yourself, memory techniques, or how to summarize.

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Multilingual Therapy Institute
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Fall in love with your Routines

Fall in love with your Routines

Forgetting about routines, having the freedom to do what we want when we feel like it… those long days of Summer are ideal to live like that: more slowly, more spontaneous.

Not having to restrict ourselves to specific schedules and being open to improvisation are parts of the perfect recipe for disconnection and relaxation. However sooner or later the time comes to snap back to reality and a more formal rhythm.

How can we maintain the feeling of freedom from the summer in our days marked by schedules and repetitive obligations? Wouldn’t it be fantastic if we could start to enjoy our routines instead of seeing them as boring and monotonous obligations?

Here is an easy step-by-step way to fall back in love with your routines.

Analyze what works for you

If you just had a wonderful summer, you will still remember which were the most memorable and pleasant moments for you. Did you love taking the time to shoot the perfect picture of the sunset over the fishing wharf? Did you lose sense of time during that impressive mountain hike? Did you get swallowed up by the sound of the ocean waves? Do you smile remembering the long talks with relatives you hadn’t seen for months?

Since you can’t bring the beach home nor move mountains, you need to be practical. The challenge consists of identifying the common denominator in your pleasant moments.What is the key element that makes your routine days something special? Nature? Taking care of yourself? Silence? Creativity? The people? The good food? Taking the time to simply bewithout doing anything? Our routines are only sad if they don’t leave room for those small moments of pleasure. Transforming your routine starts with finding the small replicas of big moments you experienced in your free time. Yes, you can have a fruity cocktail on a Tuesday afternoon on an improvised deck chair listening to chill-out music. You can use your mobile phone camera to capture special moments any time of year- after all the sun does set every day! Do you know the best part of your city to watch it? Do you take time to stop and see? It isn’t about trying to make it the same; it’s about getting back those mini-moments of pleasure that are within reach, without judging if they are as good as something you can only have once or twice a year.

Look for small variations within the repetitive:

Activate your curiosity and creativity to discover new ways of doing your day-to-day. If you discovered the pleasure of listening to an audiobook while lying on the beach, why not listen to one while ironing? If you loved the exotic food that you tried for the first time, promise yourself to try a strange restaurant once a month or sign up to a YouTube channel that can teach you to cook new recipes at home. It is proven that the search for small variations in our daily lives is fundamental to our happiness.Repetition is only dangerous if we assume that things are always the same. Each day is different and we can discover many aspects to enrich what may seem monotonous. If you have children, allow them to show you a different view from their natural curiosity- it can connect you with the constant flow of changes in life. Play Find the Differences on your daily commute, whether or not you have kids. Ask yourself in the morning what small change could I make today? Put away your mobile and look out the window on the bus, turn up the radio and sing- even in the middle of a traffic jam, smile at the other people getting on the metro just because, try to give back a bit of humanity to those daily interactions with strangers… with a bit of creativity you will end up seeing that getting out of the routine is all about attitude , the attitude of not conforming to a repetitive life.

Question what you do automatically:

Sometimes routine gobbles us up without us even noticing and it makes us do things without even knowing why. The weeks go by and we get lost in what we’ve done a certain way forever. Start to question your habits. What is something you do every day that doesn’t really add anything to your life? Are there some routines that have lost their sense? Realize that we have automatisms that don’t add anything to our lives (like turning on the news at dinnertime, sending messages instead of calling, going to the grocery store Saturday morning, reading emails instead of focusing on more important things, spending hours on social media instead of reading a good novel or postponing story time with the kids for another day when we are less tired…). Turn on an alarm every hour and when it goes off ask yourself ‘what am I doing? Does it make sense? Do a critical revision of your routines and find out if they are really useful for you. Choose the routine that seems the most absurd to you and…

Get rid of what isn’t working

Out with the things you’ve outgrown, gotten too big or aged. Just like we go through our closet to get rid of the clothes we no longer like, we should do the same with our routines. Perform a Spring cleaning of your routines to leave more space for what’s really important. Remember that there are many ways to do things. The key is in doing a bit less of what doesn’t make sense to be able to do more of what does. You will be surprised by the time you can free up when you start to get rid of your old habits without sense.

To get back the spark of your routines, find a good balance between the routine and the new. Even if your obligations and routines won’t ever totally disappear, remember that you can always choose how you will face them. Make your day to day more enjoyable each month and you will have a great year, whatever the season!

If you're still struggling, call us to make an appointment with a Sinews professional!

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Multilingual Therapy Institute
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How to look after your voice

How to look after your voice

Our voice is the instrument we use to communicate on a daily basis and for this reason it should be used correctly. If we do so, we lessen the risk of straining our vocal cords.

Which are the signs or symptoms of a voice disorder?

Aphonia refers to the loss of voice
Dysphonia is characterized by altered vocal quality, pitch or volume.

Based on the type of dysphonia and its causes, different symptoms can be observed:

  • Discomfort when speaking
  • Hoarseness
  • Decreased vocal endurance or fatigue
  • Dryness, itching or an irritated throat
  • Frequent coughing or throat clearing
  • Decreased breath support or running out of breath during speech
  • Pain

What type of voice disorders can affect our vocal cords?

Although voice issues can occur due to different reasons, they can be classified as:

  • Organic: a structural disorder involves something physically wrong with the mechanism of the vocal folds. Some examples include nodules, polyps, laryngitis, cysts, contact ulcers, etc. Neurogenic voice disorders can also appear, caused by a problem in the nervous system.
  • Functional: in this case the physical structure is normal, but the vocal mechanism is being used improperly or inefficiently. For example vocal fatigue or a Muscle Tension Dysphonia can exist. This type of functional problem may cause a structural lesion.

Who can suffer from dysphonia?

Anyone can experience voice difficulties at any time in life, including during childhood, adolescence or adulthood. However, individuals who use their voice as a work tool, such as teachers, singers, actors or broadcasters, have higher chances of developing dysphonia caused by the constant use of their voice.

How can I look after my voice?

Following some simple advice can help us avoid these voice difficulties that so many people suffer from in their everyday life. Below are some recommendations to protect your voice:

  • Hydration: drinking enough liquid is essential to help lubricate your vocal folds so they may vibrate correctly. Therefore, you should aim to drink approximately two litres of fluid a day, although it is best to avoid alcohol, caffeine and fizzy drinks and take sips throughout the day. A lack of humidity in the environment can also affect the vocal cords, so in dry climates it can be useful to have a humidifier at home or carry out steam inhalations to moisten your larynx.
  • Avoid smoking: as this involves smoke passing constantly between the vocal folds. This inevitably dries them out and causes irritation. Smoking also greatly increases the risk of developing mouth, lung or larynx cancer.
  • Be aware of how you use your voice: firstly, regarding the volume used, it is advisable to avoid shouting or raising your voice over loud background noise. Secondly, consider the length of time you are speaking for and try to take breaks when speaking for a long time. Our vocal cords are muscles that can get “tired” if used non-stop.
  • When you feel any discomfort: avoid coughing or clearing your throat, as this can irritate the vocal cords even more. It is best to swallow saliva or drink some lukewarm liquid if possible. You can also chew gum or have a sugar-free sweet.
  • Respect the natural resistance of your voice: each person has a different tone and volume depending on their individual characteristics and level of voice training. Therefore, in order to avoid the risk of developing voice problems, it is important not to push these limits.
  • Be careful with your posture and breathing: sometimes, and specially now we use mobiles and computers on a daily basis, our posture might be affected without us even being aware. This affects the neck muscles and the air coming out of the lungs, which is the mechanism that makes the vocal cords vibrate. To avoid problems, try to relax your shoulders, open your chest and straighten your neck, breathing deeply in a relaxed way to completely fill your lungs with air, instead of taking superficial breaths.
  • Get enough sleep and avoid psychological tension:r la tensión psicológica: our voice is closely related to our emotional state and therefore, stress can lead to the contraction of our neck and vocal cords, as well as the muscles involved in breathing. Adopting a healthy lifestyle is always a good idea, so aim to carry out any form of relaxation that feels appropriate for you; for example taking regular physical exercise, doing yoga or going to meditation classes. Sleeping at least six hours a night can also help reduce tiredness in our vocal cords and contributes to our general wellbeing.

These are only a few recommendations you can include in your daily routine. However, if you feel the difficulties are persistent in time, you should look for help.

When should I get help?

If you have been feeling discomfort for over a week when speaking or if you need to make a better use of your voice due to your job, please visit a specialist who will be able to help you improve your voice and achieve your goals.
When the symptoms mentioned above become persistent or interfere with your daily activities, the first step would be to visit an ear nose and throat specialist, or otolaryngologist. This professional will be able to assess your vocal structures and give you a diagnosis, as well as information regarding the next steps to follow. In some cases surgery will be necessary and/or voice therapy with a speech and language therapist will be recommended.

What is voice therapy?

Depending on each case, voice therapy with a qualified speech and language therapist will involve different exercises to help you:

  • Achieve adequate vocal habits
  • Increase awareness regarding your own vocal structures
  • Correct your posture and relax neck and throat muscles
  • Use breath correctly and effectively when speaking
  • Improve the use of resonance cavities

If you have questions about your vocal health, contact a specialist at Sinews!

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Multilingual Therapy Institute
Psychology, Psychiatry and Speech Therapy
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Is my child addicted to the phone?

Is my child addicted to the phone?

It is very probable that the mobile phone is the technology that has most changed the lives of families, for which we should stop and think about the impact that technology of information and communication (ICT) has on our children.

When we talk about information and communication technology, we usually refer to those technologies that allow us to transmit, process and spread information instantly.

We have all incorporated the use of ICT into our daily lives, as a tool of interaction, socialization, work, amusement and learning. However, it is in adolescence where the increase of usage is most noticeable. The content of ICT has become an element of interaction and socialization, principally among peers, owing to shared affections for certain activities such as music, fashion and film among things. Further, this allows them to exchange information like: interesting web pages, bloggers, tricks to use in certain video games, etc.

ICT and the mobile phone in particular grant multiple opportunities and benefits; for example they favor social relations, cooperative learning, the development of new abilities, new forms of construction of knowledge, and the development of creative capacities, communication and reasoning. In the family atmosphere, a new space opens for participation in family. In this way ICT well-used can be a channel of communication between family members. For example when the parents often travel, one way to communicate with them is through Facetime, Skype or similar platforms.

So, with so many benefits, how do we get addicted to mobile phones? Who are the most vulnerable?

Who is most at risk of suffering mobile phone addiction?

Determined psychological variables can influence the greater or lesser predisposition or vulnerability to becoming addicted to new technologies. Some of these variables are: impulsiveness, low self-esteem, low mood, inadequate confrontational strategies, need for affection or a poor network of social support.

Youth and adolescents are the most vulnerable and for various reasons. They are have grown up with the newest technologies and see the use of such as normal and necessary; they have easy access to devices; the life stage that they are experiencing is characterized by the search of feelings and identity and as such are greatly influenced by their peer group.

Mobile addiction?

Adolescents place fundamental values in new technologies and internet, as a sign of identity and status, and the use of these has become a priority in their lives. It is here where we begin to see the following signs:

  • Loss of control

  • Loss of privacy

  • Dependence: need or intense impulse to conduct the behavior

  • A rising tension until able to perform the behavior, characterized by different alterations of mood (anxiety, depression, irritability,...), cognitive (effects on concentration) and sleep patterns

  • Grave interference in daily life and interactions

With respect to factors that favor addictive qualities, they are the ease of access and availability, the experience of time distortion during connectivity, perception of anonymity and a feeling of inhibition that allows the possibility of representing different roles or revealing uncomfortable or hidden aspects of oneself without risks.

When using the mobile phone just to use it, the aforementioned symptoms appear.

Having arrived to this point, the daily life of an adolescent can be affected on different levels, starting with a loss in interest, passed up in favor of the mobile phone. The adolescent will start to reduce social relations, to have problems with studies or work and to use the mobile more and more.

How do I know if my child presents behaviors that could be related to mobile addiction?

  • Loss of interest in activities that they previously enjoyed and were gratifying

  • Excessive preoccupation to use the mobile which interferes with daily routines

  • Depressive mood, irritable, restlessness and lack of concentration, changes in sleep patterns

  • Changes in academic performance, loss of friendships

  • Denying or hiding behavior, connecting in private and losing the notion of time during use

What can I do to help my child?

It is of vital importance to work on the emotional and communicative bonds in the family.

The more the adolescent gets to know himself and is capable of expressing feelings and worries with confidence of being heard and accepted as they are, they will have more ability to tolerate frustrations and resolve conflicts. They will know how to ask for help at home if they need it because they will feel a climate of confidence and support to help them talk.

Alternative activities

Planning alternative activities that are incompatible with mobile use is a good strategy to reduce the quantity of hours dedicated to the mobile. Good options for activities are those that imply relation with others that are enjoyable, cultural or sporty, outdoors, etc.

  • Impress upon your child from a young age the importance of spending time with friends doing activities that do not include the use of modern technology.

  • Observe the mobile use of your child to make it a process of usage and learning at the same time.

  • Agree upon some rules regarding times, places, content and forms of use.

  • Enforce a monthly limit on time spent on the mobile phone and ensure your child is responsible for some coverage of mobile costs.

  • Reason with your child some respectful rules regarding third parties and content, photos and videos, sharing images with other people, and of course, not distributing content of others without authorization of use that could irreversibly damage the image of someone

  • Ask your child to turn off the mobile phone when they do not need it or should not use it, for example while studying, in school or while eating or sleeping.

  • Teaching by example is very important. Children replicate the behaviors of their parents. Our children should see us, as adults, making rational use of the mobile phone and following the same rules.

Technology is undoubtedly going to play an irreplaceable role in our lives from here on out. However by making ourselves and our children aware of the use and implanting responsible and reasonable practices we can ensure the maintenance of a healthy & beneficial relationship with these helpful technologies. If you think you or your child is having troubles with technology addiction, Sinews is happy to offer counseling and steps to change this relationship.

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Multilingual Therapy Institute
Psychology, Psychiatry and Speech Therapy
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A travel guide for couples: 5 tips for working through holiday difficulties

A travel guide for couples: 5 tips for working through holiday difficulties

You’ve booked the flights, triple-checked your reservations, and ensured that you packed enough sunscreen to protect a small school of children from the sun, but chances are you haven’t given much thought as to how to prepare your relationship for the exciting vacation ahead. Summer vacations are often visualized as being blissful and seamless, but frequently these lovely adventures are paired with arguments, stress, and unmet expectations. One of the most overlooked aspects of organizing vacations is how to handle and plan for the relational difficulties that tend to arise.

This brings us to the question:

Why do couples argue while traveling?

We often find that what starts as an exciting adventure turns into a stressful and expensive nightmare. Although this doesn’t always have to be the case (continue reading for tips on how to navigate these stressors), there are several reasons that make travel a recipe for relational conflict.

One of the primary aspects of travel that can be hard on a relationship is the component of stress, which stems from the unexpected and unplanned quality that is paired with travel. The element of seeing a new place and having a new adventure is the same reason that makes travel engaging – there are aspects of travel that are out of our control and challenging to plan for. Within our day-to-day routines, we often feel secure and familiar with what we know. We have our morning routines, take the same path to work, spend time with our colleagues, visit the same restaurants, and return home to our partners and families. While we can still have new experiences and stressors in our routines, we are also within a familiar context and able to adapt and adjust accordingly. For example, if you lose your ID or belongings on the way to work, it is a hassle but manageable. On the other hand, while traveling there is the potential for a lot to go “wrong” or not as planned. You may get lost, lose an item, have problems with reservations or have failed plans.

This component of the unexpected leaves couples much more vulnerable as individuals, let alone couples, to stress and trying times. This, paired with lack of sleep, jet lag, and other challenges only exacerbate this phenomenon.

As these stressors emerge it is quite common for couples to unintentionally project frustrations on to their partner.

In addition to stress, there are many logistics to coordinate with travel, which involves planning beforehand and also communicating. Couples frequently experience hardships with communication and teamwork regarding day-to-day aspects of life like household responsibilities, love languages (more on this below), and more. Traveling tends to highlight a couple’s weaker points in communication and we often see that the typical patterns of ineffective communication and the relational roles become more apparent. For example, it is quite common for one partner to be more of a planning type, while the other more laid back in nature. While this can provide great balance in a relationship, it also has the potential to evolve into a “blame game” if one partner is left feeling more responsible for the travel plans and agenda or if each partner has different expectations of travel. This is especially true if unexpected aspects of travel go wrong. Furthermore, due to the fact that partners in relationships take on different roles or characteristics, it is quite common for assumptions to be made when it comes to travel.

If things go wrong during travel plans, or natural stressors arise, it is typical for couples to veer away from a team mentality and to turn against each other as stressors arise.

Comments like “you always” and “you never” are phrases that are not only inaccurate but are also accusatory. For this reason it is crucial to communicate about the travel plans and expectations as a team beforehand to prevent unmet expectations or unneeded arguments.

Logistics and travel itineraries are typically discussed between couples prior to takeoff, but one element of summer vacations that tends to be an insidious instigator of disagreements is the overall goal of the vacation. For example, perhaps one partner is primarily looking forward to the vacation as a means to finally get away from work demands, while the other partner anticipates a romantic getaway with the focus being on intimacy and connection. While both travel goals are attainable in the same getaway, failing to address these goals tends to weigh on a couple while traveling. When we think of summer vacation, obtaining a sense of connection and intimacy seems like it should be effortless due to the romantic scenery and exotic ambiance, however communicating love and affection to your partner in the way in which your partner prefers still takes work and effort, just like it does while spending time together back in your home city. Imagine this scenario: you are traveling with your honey to a foreign land where they don’t speak a language that you recognize. The person behind the counter wants to show you to your hotel room, but you have no idea what they are saying. While the intentions are well, the language barrier makes for a stressful and confusing experience. This is NOT how you hope to spend your time afar.

Just like this scenario, learning the language in which your partner expresses their love is crucial in forming intimacy, connection, and preventing communication breakdowns from taking place. Learning which Love Languages and forms of expressing fondness for your partner can take a regular vacation and transform it into a rejuvenating and intimacy inducing getaway for you and your partner when understood and applied. For more information on Love Languages pick up The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Gary Chapman. This is the perfect novel for the plane ride to your retreat with your book!

Preparing for the relational aspects of travel are equally as important as remembering passports and the proper attire. For this reason, let’s take a look at the most effective tools to prevent, work through, and avoid these difficulties before they arise.

1 With travel comes stress.

It’s true that traveling is exciting and relaxing, but the long lines, lack of sleep, lengthy airplane rides, and various other elements can easily become stressful. Perhaps you misplace your ID or your luggage is delayed – while no one wishes for these instances to happen, the reality is that at times they do. Mentally prepare for these elements and recognize that some aspects of your travel will be stressful in order to prevent the impact of stress and displacing anger on your partner. If your baggage is delayed, for example, remember that your annoyance is a result of the airline company and not your partner. Try not to sweat the small stuff!

2. Your partner can’t read your mind.

Save the reading for the plan ride! Have a conversation about the expectations of your trip before you go. Perhaps one of you wants to sleep-in while the other is excited to chip away at the long itinerary planned, or one of you prefers a tightly planned agenda while the other prefers a more take-it-as-it-comes attitude. Both of these options are possible so long as you communicate beforehand. Have a conversation about how you want to spend your days is crucial when it comes to preventing miscommunication. Cover the basics in regards to your stay and have a dialog about sleep, food, accommodation(s), itinerary, pace, and expectations of the trip before you go so that you can work to find a compromise. Have fun with this! Be creative and think outside of the box. This may mean that you have to prioritize some of the top sightseeing locations, divide parts of the day for different activities, research restaurants beforehand, or spend some part of the day taking some time apart.

3. Technology mindfulness.

It’s true that you are on vacation, but many of life’s stressors are not. Whether you find yourself preoccupied with work, the kids back at home, or the endless notifications your phone reminds you of, go into your vacation with intention. Have a conversation with your partner before you go about what your goals are in regarding technology and to stick to your goals! If you find it necessary to check work emails or keep in touch with those back home, try to do so with intention – perhaps this means to give yourself 30 minutes of “technology time” in the morning and evening, for example. Remember that this is a time for you and your loved one to disconnect, enjoy your surroundings, and connect with one another. Your phone, emails, and work will be eager to greet you upon your arrival back home.

4. Now is not the time.

Chances are, you hope to spend your vacation enjoying one another and the beautiful destination place. Although your vacation may mean that you finally have some uninterrupted time with your partner, this does not mean it’s the best time to bring up ongoing issues or disagreements – try to resist this urge! Your disagreements will be waiting for you as you return home so discussing serious and heavy topics during your vacation is one way to have a fun filled trip and turn it into a dreadful nightmare. If it feels like there is an issue you need to talk about, try to discuss the issue before you leave and agree to come back to the issue once you return.

5. A vacation from vacation.

Spending 24/7 with anyone, let alone your loved one, is bound to stir up some friction. Setting aside some alone time during your vacation is not only rejuvenating, but it also provides a pep-in-your-step for the days to come. Taking some time to yourself doesn’t mean spending hours upon hours apart, but carving out a simple 20-30 minute solo-activity, like taking a walk along the beach, reading your favorite novel before bed, or going on an afternoon jog, are simple measures you can take to prevent unwelcome annoyances with one another before they happen.

Going on vacation with your loved one has the potential to be a new exciting adventure, make lasting memories, and bring you closer to one another. By engaging in these activities before and during your vacation, you have set the stage for a much more realistic, meaningful, and enjoyable experience with your honey.

 

Bon voyage!

Sinews, Hacemos Fácil lo Difícil
Sinews MTI
Multilingual Therapy Institute
Psychology, Psychiatry and Speech Therapy
Clinic Appointment

Using the Cognitive Triangle to Combat Anxiety and Depression

Using the Cognitive Triangle to Combat Anxiety and Depression

Feelings of anxiety and depression are an experience that nearly all human beings share. Whether it results from the pressure of society to “succeed,” a desire to please others, family/relationship stressors, or pressure from work/school, both anxiety and depression can create a debilitating experience within our bodies that often prevent us from acting as our highest-functioning self.

The cognitive-behavioral theoretical approach is one form of therapy commonly utilized to address symptoms of anxiety/depression. This short blog will attempt to provide a simple understanding of the tool called “The Cognitive Triangle.” In addition to the description itself, a few helpful interventions focusing on each point of the triangle will be provided.

The main concept of the triangle is that self-awareness and metacognition (the ability to think about one’s thoughts) are the key to begin to manage those thoughts, feelings and resulting behaviors that often times feel out of our control.

The three points of the triangle:

The top of the triangle is labelled as our “thoughts.”

We commonly have thoughts that are on autopilot—those thoughts that are easy to reach for because they repeat frequently, such as self-criticism we have had today, yesterday, the day before that, the one prior to that, etc. Without awareness of those thoughts, however, and more importantly the themes that exist within them (i.e. self-criticism, a tendency to catastrophize, etc.), it can be extremely difficult to realize they are there and to interrupt them. One way to do this is to bring attention to those themes.

One helpful exercise to attempt is to write down all of the negative thoughts had within a day, and later work to categorize those thoughts within this list and begin to recognize patterns.

Listed below are 10 categories into which our thoughts can commonly be categorized (Source: Burns, David D., MD. 1989. The Feeling Good Handbook. New York: William Morrow and Company):

  1. ALL-OR-NOTHING THINKING: You see things in black-and-white categories. If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure.
  2. OVERGENERALIZATION: You see a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.
  3. MENTAL FILTER: You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively so that your vision of all reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that discolors the entire beaker of water.
  4. DISQUALIFYING THE POSITIVE: You reject positive experiences by insisting they “don’t count” for some reason or other. In this way, you can maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences.
  5. JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS: You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion
    • MIND READING: You arbitrarily conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you, and you don’t bother to check this out.
    • FORTUNE TELLING: You anticipate that things will turn out badly, and you feel convinced that your prediction is an already-established fact.
  6. MAGNIFICATION (CATASTROPHIZING) OR MINIMIZATION: You exaggerate the importance of things (such as your goof-up or someone else’s achievement), or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny (your own desirable qualities or other fellow’s imperfections). This is also called the “binocular trick.”
  7. EMOTIONAL REASONING: You assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are: “I feel it, therefore it must be true.”
  8. SHOULD STATEMENTS: You try to motivate yourself with should and shouldn’t, as if you had to be whipped and punished before you could be expected to do anything. “Musts” and “oughts” are also offenders. The emotional consequences are guilt. When you direct should statements toward others, you feel anger, frustration, and resentment.
  9. LABELING AND MISLABELING: This is an extreme form of overgeneralization. Instead of describing your error, you attach a negative label to yourself. “I’m a loser.” When someone else’s behavior rubs you the wrong way, you attach a negative label to him” “He’s a damn louse.” Mislabeling involves describing an event with language that is highly colored and emotionally loaded.
  10. PERSONALIZATION: You see yourself as the cause of some negative external event, which in fact you were not primarily responsible for.”

The second point on the triangle is labelled as our “emotions.”

Emotions can be distinguished from thoughts because they will take the form of one word. If I say, for example, “I feel like you don’t care,” that is actually a thought. If I say, “I feel sad (because the thought that is creeping in that you don’t care),” the sadness is, in fact, the emotion.

It is common to be able to identify one or two emotions relatively easily. Very often, the go-to emotion is anger.

That makes sense, as it is somewhat accepted by society and perceived as a less vulnerable emotion. If one can dig a bit deeper than the surface anger, however, it might encourage an entirely different reaction. If I recognize, for example, that each time I experience anger, the underlying emotion is actually disappointment, sadness, or hurt, that will create a hugely different behavioral reaction than the one that comes out of the perception that the emotion is simply anger.

One exercise to begin to work on this point of the triangle is to begin to explore underlying emotions.

  1. The first step is to increase your emotional vocabulary. Take time to brainstorm all of the emotions that you are able to. Remember, emotions take the form of one word.

  2. After an emotionally triggering event, write down the first emotion that comes to mind.

  3. Begin to explore those emotions that lie below the surface of the initially identified emotion. You can ask yourself, for example, “when I feel angry, I feel…”  Repeat this process until you have identified at least three underlying emotions.

  4. Recognize the shift in your emotional state, your thoughts, as well as what you end up doing with the simple recognition of what is underneath the initially identified emotion. You will probably find it easier to manage/communicate in a completely different way.

The third point on the triangle is labelled “behaviors.”

Those behaviors are of course dependent on both our cognitions, as well as our emotions.

When we are able to change our thoughts, our behaviors will naturally change.

When we are able to shift our emotions, our behaviors will also change. We can also, however, shift our emotions and our cognition by creating changes in our behaviors directly.

This can include forcing ourselves to exercise despite the lack of desire to do so, or, for example, attending a social event despite the anxiety experienced around groups of people, etc.

Breathing exercises can also be useful in creating a shift in anxiety or other emotional states. One such exercise is as follows:

THREE PART YOGIC BREATH

Steps:

  1. Place your right hand on your abdomen and your left hand on your chest.

  2. First, breathe slowly and deeply into your abdomen, inflating it like a balloon.

  3. Then, feel your chest rise up as you inhale into your chest.

  4. Feel your upper chest rise as your lungs inflate fully all the way up to the clavicle (bone underneath your neck).

  5. Exhale, squeezing your abdomen in first, then your chest. Make sure to squeeze all of the air out to create more space for clean air on the next inhalation.

  6. Repeat the breath 10 times.

  7. Close your eyes and feel your body relaxing from your toes to the top of your head.

Overall, we can be more in control of thoughts and feelings if we are aware of what underlies them. Those processes about which we are aware, we can control. By working on any of the three points on the cognitive triangle—thoughts, feelings, or behaviors, you will have an impact on all of the other points naturally. Anxiety and depression can feel uncontrollable and hopeless at times, however, with the utilization of these tools, one can regain that sense of control and hope and create the capacity to be one’s best self.

Sinews, Hacemos Fácil lo Difícil
Sinews MTI
Multilingual Therapy Institute
Psychology, Psychiatry and Speech Therapy
Clinic Appointment

Mindfulness para cuidar de nosotros mismos

Mindfulness para cuidar de nosotros mismos

El self es el autoconcepto que tenemos sobre nosotros mismos, cómo pensamos que somos, qué mensajes nos mandamos y por supuesto está altamente relacionado no solo con nuestro estado de ánimo sino también con nuestra salud mental.

Múltiples cosas que realizamos están orientadas a equilibrar o a “cuidar” ese self. Incluso el modelo del profesor Richard Bentall plantea y evidencia que la  autoestima  implícita se ha identificado también como un proceso que nos puede ayudar a entender mejor el delirio persecutorio, es decir, la paranoia, el síntoma más común de la psicopatología mental severa (Bentall et al., 2008; Fowler et al., 2006).

Bentall y cols. (2001) plantean que los pacientes con paranoia tratan de evitar creencias negativas sobre uno mismo asumiendo que los fracasos en su vida son causados intencionadamente por las acciones de otras personas llamando así a este modelo el modelo del sesgo-auto sirviente.

Así probablemente a muchos de nosotros mientras leemos esto nos vengan a la mente un gran número de conductas que realizamos o de pensamientos orientados a cuidar ese “self”.  Estos mensajes que nos enviamos pueden ser positivos para nuestras vidas o no serlo tanto.

Por ejemplo, si queremos cuidarnos del sentimiento de haber fallado podemos tender a culpar a otros, a la suerte o al contexto, algo similar ocurre con conductas típicas de los celos, la alimentación inconsciente, las relaciones negativas con los otros… todos tratan de calmarnos y darnos sensación de control a corto plazo a pesar de perjudicarnos a largo plazo, es decir, en nuestra auténtica trayectoria vital.

Entonces…¿cómo cuidar ese self? ¿cómo mejorarlo y hacerlo más fuerte y positivo?

Los 3 pasos del Mindfulness tal vez puedan ayudarnos con esto:

Cultivar la conciencia y la capacidad de estar en el momento presente.
Obviamente todos sabemos donde estamos física y temporalmente, pero ¿cuántas veces hemos vivido en nuestros pensamientos en lugar de en el momento presente? ¿cuántas veces hemos “desconectado” de lo que está ocurriendo aquí y ahora para estar centrados en una preocupación acerca del pasado o del futuro?

MINDFULNESSS, ese término tan popular últimamente no es otra cosa que cultivar la capacidad de vivir en el aquí y ahora, tomando conciencia de todo lo que viene a mi cabeza para “boicotear” esa presencia, reconocer esos pensamientos y emociones y desde la aceptación y la amabilidad (ya que todo humano se distrae con preocupaciones sobre el pasado o el futuro)  y finalmente volver a llevar la atención a ese momento presente, sea como sea, sin juzgar.

Self-compassion o la cuidar de nosotros mismos.
Ya hemos reconocido los pensamientos que vienen a nuestra mente para sacarnos del momento presente y también somos conscientes de su naturaleza, especialmente de cuando son pensamientos y emociones difíciles y dolorosos.

Debemos cuidar de esas emociones difíciles, porque cuando las cuidamos nos cuidamos a nosotros mismos, pero no desde un punto de vista paternalista, como dice Kristin Neff (una de las creadoras del  programa Mindfulness Self Compassion )Auto-Compasión no es victimismo y no es autoindulgencia porque el objetivo es totalmente contrario a fusionarnos con la emoción negativa o a comportarnos al estilo Bridget Jones: “estoy pasando una mala época asique voy a sentarme en el sofá todo el día a ver películas tristes y comer un litro de helado”. No es eso….el objetivo que persigue es el de hablarnos bien, cuidarnos y desde ahí impulsar un bienestar a largo plazo.
En ocasiones creemos que enviarnos mensajes duros y agresivos va a motivarnos, pero realmente la única utilidad que tienen es aumentar esos sentimientos negativos y desagradables.

Loving-Kindness, Amor y Amabilidad hacia los otros
Cuando somos capaces de vivir en el momento presente y de aceptar nuestras emociones y pensamientos y aprendemos no a cambiarlos sino a cambiar nuestra relación con ellos, entonces podemos realizar lo mismo hacia otras personas, somos capaces de aceptar defectos, controlar la impaciencia, controlar el feedback y disfrutar plenamente de la compañía de los otros, teniendo también hacia ellos una actitud de cariño, amabilidad y cuidado.

Barbara Fredickson, una de las psicólogas más influyentes según Forbes, demuestra en sus estudios que al cultivar esta capacidad de amor y amabilidad hacia otras personas aumentan diferentes marcadores de salud, incluso asociados con la longevidad (Fredickson, 2015).

Así que…anímate a estar presente, ser amable contigo mismo y con otras personas y vivirás MÁS Y MEJOR!

Leticia Martínez Prado
Division of Psychology, Psychotherapy and Coaching
Leticia Martínez Prado
Psychologist and Coach
Adults and couples
Languages: English and Spanish
See Resumé


Golden Rules for your Medicine Abroad

Golden Rules for your Medicine Abroad

Visiting a different country and a different culture might be challenging by itself. If you are planning on staying for a long period, you should definitely make sure that you don’t leave loose ends which may be difficult to solve once you are in a foreign country. Even more, if you already have a medical condition, different questions might arise. The first one could be: Should I even try? Will it be possible to continue the treatment I’m taking abroad? The quick answer, in most cases, is YES, there are plenty of treatments.

However, not all countries have exactly the same kind of treatments available, so you should do some research prior to travelling.

It is better to spend some time making sure that you will be able to continue taking your medication than arrive in the country and find out that they don’t have your medication and that the alternatives are either more expensive or have a different profile of side effects.

Having a medical condition or a mental problem shouldn’t, by itself, prevent you from deciding to live the experience of living abroad.

Nevertheless, culture shock, different schedules and time differences, lack of familiar and social support and the language barrier can be disturbing and might hamper the adjustment process. Culture shock is defined as “psychological disorientation that most people experience when living in a culture markedly different from one’s own. Culture shock occurs when our cultural clues, the signs and symbols which guide social interaction, are stripped away”( Steger Center 2015- Virginia Tech), increasing levels of anxiety and triggering a different kind of feelings like homesickness, boredom, isolation or compulsive eating and drinking.

Other types of thoughts like stereotyping host nationals and showing hostility towards their culture could also appear, hindering adjustment and, in the end, having a negative impact on your whole experience abroad. You could also wonder if the language barrier would be a problem and if it would be easy to find a treating clinician you can communicate within your own mother tongue.  Not only could language be a problem, but also the lack of knowledge of the most important aspects of your origin country’s culture. And what about having a crisis or an emotional meltdown while being abroad? There are many things one should bear in mind before moving to a foreign country. In the end, the most important thing, whether one has a health issue or not, is finding the right professionals to seek help if needed.

When you go for medical treatment abroad, there are some prior arrangements you should consider before travelling.

To begin with, you should find a healthcare provider.

It is a wise idea to explore what mental health facilities and resources are offered in your destination.  If you are diagnosed with an unusual or severe disorder you should make sure that you will be able to obtain the kind of treatment you need at your destination. It would be a good idea to contact the clinic before leaving, setting up the first appointment and maybe introducing yourself to the future treating clinician. He could ask you for clinical reports, or for the possibility of contacting your treating physician. Communication between the doctor abroad and your treating physician is paramount, not only because it will be easier to prevent relapses while being abroad, but also to assemble aftercare when returning home. Think that the doctor abroad will only know you for a few months, while the doctor from your country of origin might have known you for a long time and will be there whenever you return. Make sure that you enable this communication as it will be useful for planning continuity of care after you return back home.

Thus, you should tell your current doctor that you are leaving the country and inform him about the time you will be spending abroad. Feel free to express your own motivations, expectations and fears. Remember he or she knows you well and can aid you through the whole process. In some cases, he or she will be able to provide the amount of medication you need, or at least, enough medication until another clinician can make you prescriptions for your usual treatment.

Moreover, you should make sure your insurance will cover for the medical consultations in the foreign country. If not, you should know the prices of each appointment before you leave and be able to calculate the amount of money you will need to save to pay for all of the consultations. It is pertinent that you get comprehensive information about your insurance to prevent unexpected costs. To sum up, you should do a little bit of research by yourself before you leave so that you can make the best choices in a country you might not know. Having as much information as possible before you leave will decrease your level of uncertainty and make things easier in the long-term, both for you and the doctor.

What types of medication do we have in Spain?

When you go for medical treatment abroad, there are some prior arrangements you should consider before travelling.

To begin with, you should find a healthcare provider.

It is a wise idea to explore what mental health facilities and resources are offered in your destination.  If you are diagnosed with an unusual or severe disorder you should make sure that you will be able to obtain the kind of treatment you need at your destination. It would be a good idea to contact the clinic before leaving, setting up the first appointment and maybe introducing yourself to the future treating clinician. He could ask you for clinical reports, or for the possibility of contacting your treating physician. Communication between the doctor abroad and your treating physician is paramount, not only because it will be easier to prevent relapses while being abroad, but also to assemble aftercare when returning home. Think that the doctor abroad will only know you for a few months, while the doctor from your country of origin might have known you for a long time and will be there whenever you return. Make sure that you enable this communication as it will be useful for planning continuity of care after you return back home.

As mentioned before, if you have spare prescribed medication, you should bring it with you. In case you have the prescriptions or any report which states that you are currently on that specific medication, it would be also useful to keep it with you. Beware the time gap between your arrival and the appointment with a doctor abroad so that you don’t run out of medication which can be overwhelming during the adjustment phase.

Specifically speaking about medicines, almost all types of medications can be found in Spain. These include common medications such as:

  • Antidepressants (escitalopram, citalopram, paroxetine, fluoxetine, sertraline, venlafaxine, desvenlafaxine, duloxetine, mirtazapine, trazodone, vortioxetine, agomelatine,      bupropion, reboxetine, clomipramine, imipramine…). In Spain, monoamine oxidase inhibiting (MAOI) drugs are not marketed.
  • Benzodiazepines
  • Antipsychotics (haloperidol, risperidone, olanzapine, aripiprazole, clozapine, asenapine, amisulpride, ziprasidone, paliperidone…). We still don’t have lurasidone.
  • Mood stabilizers (Lithium, valproic acid, carmabazepine, lamotrigine, oxcarbazepine…)
  • Stimulants (metilfenidate, lisdexanfetamine…).  In Spain, we don’t have Adderall.

For other specific treatments, you should consult.

Advice on follow-up

Knowing that you have just landed in a different country but have an appointment with a professional who will aid you through your time abroad is immensely reassuring. From there on, you will be able to set further appointments for follow-up, depending on your personal needs. Therefore, you will be able to take advantage of the experience of being abroad, with the certainty that there will be a team of professionals taking care of your health needs. Take into consideration that follow-up appointments tend to take less time than the first one, but still enough to check up on your status. Follow-up appointments are usually used to give an update on your situation to your clinician. He or she will check on side effects, the effectiveness of the medication, symptoms you are still experiencing and will also want to know about your social and work circumstances, with the purpose of making sure that you are doing well in a different country.

You should also check for symptoms you might be experiencing. Some of them could be new while others could be well known. Either way, you should let your clinician know. He will guide you through the process of understanding what’s happening and find the best solution.

So far, so good, but all of a sudden, things might begin to change.

The following are red flags you should be concerned about:

  • Insomnia with a functional impact
  • Tendency to isolate/social withdrawal
  • Homesickness with an excessive intensity
  • Inability to cope with daily frustrations
  • Poor academic performance

If any of the above appear, you should bring forward your next appointment and tell your clinician immediately before things start to go downhill.

What to bring with you

  • Clinical reports: This is the means by which two professionals from different countries can establish communication and speak the same language. Not only because of the clinical diagnosis or the current treatment but because clinical reports also include subtle descriptions of the person’s condition which may describe psychological, medical or situational underpinnings of their disease.

  • Blood tests: It may be sometimes difficult to get a quick blood test in a different country, so it would be very useful and helpful to bring a copy of your latest blood tests. Not to mention if you are taking medication that needs to be monitored in the blood, such as, lithium or valproic acid. If you are, for example, taking a specific dose of these mood stabilizers but don’t know their blood level and you start experiencing a relapse it will be impossible to tell if it is due to medication or other situations, making it more difficult for the doctor to intervene correctly in the precise moment.

  • Medication: As stated before, if you have spare medication, you can bring it with you, making sure that you never run out of it before a doctor can prescribe it.

  • Anything else you might consider to be useful

Other frequently asked questions

“I think that I might be having a relapse, what should I do?”

 Relapses should always be evaluated by a physician. He will carry out a comprehensive assessment of your current status and ideally will contact with your treating clinician. If he considers that your condition might need urgent treatment, he will refer you to the Emergency Department of an English speaking Hospital. If on the contrary considers that you might benefit from other kind of treatment he will be able to taper off your usual medication and start with a new one.

“I’m feeling homesick. Shouldn’t I be returning home?”

 Cultural adaptation has different phases and each person needs their own time. When the culture shock sets in, feelings of confusion and frustration appear. This can lead to anxiety and depressive symptoms and feelings of homesickness. However, don’t panic. This only means that the adaptation process just started. One is free to decide to return home whenever they want, but this important decision shouldn’t be taken under anxiety/depression.

“I’m not used to drinking as much at home as I’m doing abroad. Could this be a problem?”

Drinking is a social act. The attitude towards drinking can vary widely between countries and regions. In some cities it might be more accepted or culturally normal than others. However, this shouldn’t be misleading. Only you know if you are drinking compulsively. Only you know the effects alcohol has in your body. And only you know that if you are on medication, you shouldn’t be drinking huge amounts of alcohol. If this becomes a problem affecting other areas of your life, like relationships or college, then you should discuss this issue with the doctor.

“I don’t know if I should tell other people about my condition.”

 When being abroad, one gets to know a lot of people. Some will become close, others won’t, but in the end it is very important that you manage the information about your own condition wisely. This means that you shouldn’t be sharing it with everybody you’ve just met, but finding people you can trust and rely on to tell them instead.

“I think that I might be having a relapse, what should I do?”

 Relapses should always be evaluated by a physician. He will carry out a comprehensive assessment of your current status and ideally will contact with your treating clinician. If he considers that your condition might need urgent treatment, he will refer you to the Emergency Department of an English speaking Hospital. If on the contrary considers that you might benefit from other kind of treatment he will be able to taper off your usual medication and start with a new one.

“I’m feeling homesick. Shouldn’t I be returning home?”

 Cultural adaptation has different phases and each person needs their own time. When the culture shock sets in, feelings of confusion and frustration appear. This can lead to anxiety and depressive symptoms and feelings of homesickness. However, don’t panic. This only means that the adaptation process just started. One is free to decide to return home whenever they want, but this important decision shouldn’t be taken under anxiety/depression.

“I’m not used to drinking as much at home as I’m doing abroad. Could this be a problem?”

Do you have a question I didn’t cover?– Feel free to ask anything that you might be doubtful about before you leave. There is an extensive network of professionals who will be willing to help you make your time abroad an incredible experience.

Sinews, Hacemos Fácil lo Difícil
Sinews MTI
Multilingual Therapy Institute
Psychology, Psychiatry and Speech Therapy
Clinic Appointment

When Studying Abroad is not as fun as you hoped

When Studying Abroad is not as fun as you hoped

Studying abroad has become more and more popular during the last decade. In 2009 there were 3.7 million international students worldwide. Comparing this figure with those from previous generations, an exponential growth can be observed: in 1975 there were only 0.8 million (OECD, 2009). Most students who decide to go to another country are looking forward to interacting with different cultures and understanding others’ beliefs and values. However, are we always prepared to embrace diversity?

Moving abroad is similar in some ways to many other transitions: changing jobs, finding a new house or starting a new relationship. Generally, we start with a lot of energy and excitement. We are eager to try different foods, learn new words in a foreign language and find all the cool places in the city. This phase is typically called the Honeymoon stage (Lysegaard, 1955; Paige 1993) but it could also be called the Tourist stage. In a sense, we are still only tourists paying attention to the superficial details of culture: clothes, food, monuments. However, tourists eventually will go back home to find the familiar environment comfortable and relaxing.

Does this mean that everybody has to be euphoric at the beginning? Of course not: maybe it is your first time abroad and you are finding all the new stimuli overwhelming, maybe you miss your loved ones too much, etc. If this is your case, why not try to soothe yourself with the things that help you feel better at home? And remember, if it doesn’t improve, it is always ok to ask for help.

Suddenly, you are craving a familiar plate of mac ‘n cheese and you run to the supermarket to buy the ingredients. However, when you get there you realize they don’t have the same brands you have back at home. Moreover, they don’t have many choices of cheese and you find them all tasteless.

Culture Shock doesn’t normally appear this way: frequently it is an accumulation of frustration and anxiety due to living in an unfamiliar atmosphere. It is common that it even appears when you already seem adjusted to your new routine. It can be useful to understand the process of Cultural Adjustment as being on a roller coaster: when you are already adjusted to eating time tables you might be annoyed by people always being late, etc. You are constantly going up and down on your roller coaster.

If after some months you feel unable to call your new environment home, maybe it is the moment to find someone with whom to talk about it.

There are some people who naturally are flexible and patient with changes. These people might not have severe problems adjusting. Others prefer coping with difficulties by surrounding themselves with people from their own country and native language, recreating “home” abroad (Cohen and Paige, 2005). However, is that really adjusting to a new country and culture?

How can we deal with difficulties while engaging ourselves in our new community? A good start would be taking a look at yourself: who are you? What defines you? Are Christian values and going to mass often very important for you? Do you love playing soccer or practicing yoga? Find places where you can be yourself while you engage in the community. This will help you create lasting bonds with locals and develop a sense of belonging.

Unfortunately, many students abroad don’t have enough interaction with locals to complete their Cultural Adaptation. If it is not your case and you decided to immerse yourself by living with a host family, never forget to communicate.

Difficulties with host families usually come because there is not fluid communication. For example: your family knows you are vegetarian and they are always very careful with your diet. However, one day you find tuna in your salad. You decide not to tell them to not make a fuss. Then, another day something else happens and you also decide not to tell them. Beware of the Snowball effect, an issue that could have been solved easily if talked through in the moment can contribute (with many others) to a bigger problem later on.

Finally, there comes a moment when you actually start diving into the culture. You understand some of the values that are behind common behaviors. You may even decide to take some of those values with you for the rest of your life.

Studying abroad is a once in a lifetime, enriching experience. Use all your opportunities to interact with locals while learning about yourself!

References:

Organization for Economic Co-Operation and Development (seen at: https://www.bbc.com/travel/story/20120926-the-statistics-of-studying-abroad)
Paige, R. Michael, ed. (1993) Education for the Intercultural Experience. Yarmouth, ME: Intercultural Press
Paige, R. M. & Cohen, A.D. (2005) Maximizing Study Abroad. Minnesota, Center for Advanced Research on Language Acquisition- University of Minnesota

Lucía Largo
Division of Psychology, Psychotherapy and Coaching
Lucía Largo
Psychologist
Adults and adolescents
Languages: English and Spanish
See Resumé